Mid-Life Motorcycle Crisis
Donna Warren

Eye Candy or EC for short was raised to up to be a proper young lady. But you know how it is. Some girls think more like boys and are much more interested in “un-lady like” activities such as drinking, smoking and sex. She managed to keep these tendencies well hidden from most people. She grew up and got married and went to work like any proper young lady. She helped raise her step daughter to be a fine young woman currently serving overseas in the military. Then she discovered motorcycles.

EC was bit by the “biking” bug and she got bit real bad. Motorcycling became more important than anything else except maybe sex. She eventually joined a woman’s motorcycling club with approximately 60 members. Here she met a good bunch of women who all loved to ride motorcycles.

Riding was liberating for EC and she realized that it was alright for her to be who she really was. No more hiding. First thing she did was to get divorced. After all, a husband would just cramp her style. It seems she was trying to find herself and having a mid-life crisis at the same time which is a really interesting combination.

Next, she went on a diet and shed all of those extra pounds she picked up while suffering in silence (well mostly in silence) as a poor deprived and neglected house wife. Alas, when you’re 40, the extra skin doesn’t tighten up like it did twenty years before, so EC had reconstructive surgery. You know…a nip here and a tuck there. She even got a brand new designer belly button.

Like most motorcycle clubs, there are both formal offices, such as president but there are also informal ones. One coveted title is “Club Slut”. The position had been held by LE for many years and she was a tough act to follow. But EC was determined to earn the coveted title. (Remember now, she is a girl who likes men but thinks like a boy and believes in recreational sex.) Plus LE was over 50 and considering retiring as “Club Slut”.

So EC began her long arduous campaign to earn the coveted “Club Slut” title. There are some rules to winning the title. You can’t just be a ‘hoe. At least 15-20% of the women in any group usually fit in that category. Hoeing is required, of course, but you have to do it with style and class.

Being a professional in the workplace gave EC all of the necessary social graces to act like a lady when necessary. Her body reconstruction job gave her a classy figure good enough to earn her a few nicknames such as “Boo Boo Belly” (she picked that one up after a very heavy night of drinking) and “Eye Candy” for the excellent results of the plastic surgery.

Next she bought a totally customized Honda Sabre. It’s a “Betty Boop” bike. EC began hoeing around on Betty Boop in earnest as soon as LE announced her retirement. On any given weekend, you can usually find her juggling her many boy toys and pursuing her completely X-Rated hobbies.

She even went back to college supposedly to finish her degree. Personally, I think she went back to school to find a better source of boy toys than would otherwise be available to a woman her age.

Next time you are out riding down the road, look for that Honda Sabre called Betty Boop. You will find EC around somewhere playing with a boy toy and sucking on one of those long, fat cigars she likes to smoke.


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